Modern dating has a new rule, according to TikTok creator Marissa, who posts as @kiwiproductions.tx. Even when every date is going well, she says, you have to be ready for the other person to disappear without a word. Her caption is four words long, “it is that serious,” and more than 1.1 million viewers seem to agree.
Every Date Could Be the Last One
Marissa starts with a piece of advice she has heard people repeat, that you should treat every date as if it could be the last. She says that is not cynicism, it is what dating now looks like. Things can feel solid and the relationship can seem to be moving forward, and then the other person simply stops showing up.
She speaks from experience. She describes seeing people who were texting her regularly until one day the messages stopped, and she never saw or heard from them again. No argument, no conversation, no explanation. For her, the lesson is to go into dating knowing it can end at any moment, and she calls the whole situation a serious problem.
@kiwiproductions.tx
The Comment Section Became a Support Group
The video drew more than 1,500 comments, and most of them read like people who had been waiting for someone to say this out loud. “You have to be prepared to be ghosted at any moment, even if you’re fully in a relationship,” one person wrote. Another blamed the apps directly: “Apps have made us think everyone is disposable.”
Some of the stories were brutal. One commenter described nursing a partner through stage 4 cancer and looking at houses together, only for the relationship to end out of nowhere over the phone. They wrote that they moved across the country and still have not gotten over it. Another wrote, “Dated for 3 months, dumped 30 mins before my birthday.”
Many talked about what this does to them physically. “This is why I stopped,” one wrote. “I can’t subject my nervous system to that sense of unsafety constantly.” Another asked, “Does anyone miss when dating was fun and exciting instead of anxiety inducing and miserable?”
Why Ghosting Hurts More Than a Breakup
A clear breakup is painful, but it comes with an ending. Ghosting takes that away. Without an explanation, people tend to fill the silence with their own worst guesses, replaying conversations and wondering what they did wrong. That uncertainty is a big part of why it can sting for so long, even after short relationships.
It also helps to remember what ghosting usually says about the person who does it. Disappearing is the easiest way to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. It reflects how someone handles conflict, not how much you were worth.
How to Protect Yourself Without Giving Up
- Watch the pattern, not the promises. Plans that keep getting vague, replies that slow down and dates that never get scheduled are often the early signs.
- Keep your life full while it is new. Friends, hobbies and routines you keep up while dating make a sudden silence less destabilizing.
- Ask for clarity early. A simple question about what each of you is looking for can save weeks of guessing.
- Send one message, then stop. If someone goes quiet, one check in is reasonable. Several unanswered messages usually just prolong the hurt.
- Give yourself the closure they did not. Decide the story is over, mute or archive the chat and move on on your own terms.
- Do not ghost back. If you are the one who is not interested, a short and kind message is enough and it breaks the cycle.
Marissa’s advice to expect the worst can sound bleak, but there is a healthier version of it. Go in open, pay attention to how someone shows up and protect your own peace along the way. The right person will not make you wonder whether they are still there.
Credit for the original video goes to @kiwiproductions.tx on TikTok.
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