“I’m 75, single and child free.” That is how Aunt Pam, who posts as @seventywaves on TikTok, opens a video that has now been watched about 1.8 million times. What follows is a short, calm message for anyone who feels like they have fallen behind on marriage, children or any other milestone they were told to expect.
She Checked the Boxes Too
Aunt Pam is not speaking as someone who never felt the pressure. She says she once believed the same script everyone else did. “I had to get married, I had to have kids. I checked off all those boxes,” she says, describing the expectations she carried for years.
Her life went a different way, and at 75 she is clear that it turned out fine. “Your life doesn’t have to look like everybody else’s,” she tells viewers. Part of what she has learned is that support can come from many places. “Family isn’t just about biology,” she says, pointing to the friends, neighbors and chosen family who fill her life.
Her advice is direct. “So stop comparing milestones and timelines of others.” She talks about finding joy in small things and tuning out the constant comparison that social media makes so easy. Then she finishes with the line that seems to have hit hardest. “I wake up and generally like the life I’ve created. So you have your own journey,” she says. “The journey you’re on is just fine.”
Her caption puts it in one sentence: “Life is what you make it to be. It doesn’t need to the ‘conventional’ way.”
@seventywaves
Women Shared Their Own Paths
More than 3,100 people commented, and many of them were women living lives that look a lot like hers. “Good for you! I’m 73, been single all my adult life,” one wrote. She shared that she adopted at 42, that her 30 year old daughter also plans to stay single, and that the two of them share a home together.
Another commenter noticed something about the women in Aunt Pam’s position. “Literally every woman I see that is childfree and single looks so young,” they wrote. Others said they were childfree because the responsibility of parenthood felt overwhelming to them and they did not feel obligated to follow that path just because it was expected.
Many viewers also made the point that the message is not anti marriage or anti children. Choosing motherhood is a wonderful path for those who want it. The point is that it should be a choice made thoughtfully, not a box to check because the clock says so.
A Growing Number of Adults Live This Way
Aunt Pam is far from alone. A 2024 Pew Research Center report found that a growing share of younger adults without children say they are unlikely to ever have them, and many cite simply not wanting to as the main reason. Living single later in life has also become far more common than it was a generation ago, which means more people are building support systems that look like Aunt Pam’s.
Building a Life You Like on Your Own Timeline
- Name what you actually want. Separate your own goals from the ones you absorbed from family, friends or social media.
- Invest in your chosen family. Regular dinners, check in calls and showing up for friends build the support people often assume only a spouse or children can give.
- Plan for later life on purpose. Savings, health care decisions and housing plans matter for everyone, and single people benefit from thinking about them early.
- Mute the comparison triggers. If certain accounts or posts leave you feeling behind, it is fine to step back from them.
- Collect small joys. Aunt Pam’s secret is not a big milestone. It is liking the ordinary days.
Her message lands because it comes from someone with decades of perspective. She did not follow the expected timeline, and she is still waking up happy. For anyone worried that they are running late, that is a reassuring thing to hear.
Credit for the original video goes to @seventywaves on TikTok.
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