Late-20s Daughter Has Been the Only Family Member Still Helping Her Disbarred Dad After His Mental Breakdown and Repossessed Car — He’s Now Trying to Run a “Rent Scheme” Through the Card She Gave Him to Buy Groceries

In a world where familial bonds can often be complicated, the story of a young woman and her disbarred father highlights the difficult terrain of loyalty and responsibility. The daughter, in her late 20s, has found herself trapped in an ongoing struggle with her father, a once-respected lawyer who has had a series of unfortunate events spiral out of control. His mental breakdown, following a painful divorce, has left him in a precarious situation where he’s lost not only his license to practice law but also his grip on reality.

The daughter, having lost her mother at a young age, became her father’s sole remaining family member willing to offer support. However, over the years, their relationship has frayed under the stress of her father’s choices. The father, now in his mid-60s, has developed a pattern of relying on dubious financial schemes and old friends with questionable morals, leaving his daughter to pick up the pieces. After losing his car to repossession and becoming dependent on Social Security, he has effectively checked out of any personal responsibility.

Their arrangement became even more strained after the daughter moved out with her boyfriend. Although they still shared a lease to help ease the financial burden on her father, the daughter felt it was becoming increasingly untenable to continue offering help. She had always been there to purchase groceries, take him out for errands, and try to get him back on his feet. Yet, the father’s refusal to actively seek a job or make productive changes left her feeling drained. Instead of progress, he was simmering in his own delusions, relying on a series of “deals” that never seemed to materialize.

Recently, the situation took a turn for the worse. Her father proposed using her card—originally given to him for groceries—for a rent scheme. This idea, he claimed, would help him temporarily avoid payment issues, but it was clear to the daughter that this was not only irresponsible but indicative of his unwillingness to face the consequences of his actions. The daughter had entered into this realm of provision with good intentions, but she felt the burden was fast turning into manipulation. She began to wonder if she was enabling his behavior rather than helping.

Feeling overwhelmed, she started thinking about the implications of stepping back. Should she continue to sacrifice her own stability and mental health for a father who she firmly believed was refusing to help himself? With her brother having already distanced himself from their father due to similar frustrations, the daughter felt torn. Would she be abandoning him like her brother had, or would she merely be asserting her own boundaries in a situation that had become unhealthy?

She wrestled with the complex emotions surrounding her love for her dad versus the reality of his actions. The fear of being labeled the “bad guy” weighed heavily on her. After all, wasn’t it noble to support family? But at what cost? The father’s narcissistic tendencies had begun to emerge as he manipulated her sense of duty. It felt less like caring and more like a dependency where he thrived off her allowances, with little regard for her own life and choices.

In contemplating her next steps, the daughter sought answers in an online community, posing the question, “WIBTA for ‘abandoning’ my dad and telling him he dug his own hole and it’s not my problem anymore?” She opened herself up to the scrutiny of strangers who might see her situation with clarity, hoping for advice that would guide her decision on if she should cut ties or continue trying to help someone who was deeply entrenched in self-sabotage.

As her story circulated on the internet, it resonated with many who recognized the familiar struggle between familial obligation and self-preservation. They understood the difficulty of loving someone who seemed intent on destroying themselves, and the tough questions of where to draw the line between support and enabling. The community gathered to share their own experiences, reminding her that prioritizing her mental health wasn’t just okay—it was essential.

In the end, she found herself at a crossroads. Would she confront her father about his choices and the impact they had on her? Would she finally cancel the card, creating a necessary boundary? Or would she continue down her current path, caught in the cycle of helping someone who didn’t seem to want to help themselves? The answer wasn’t easy, but one thing was certain: the daughter was ready to reclaim her life from the shadows of her father’s turmoil.