Back in February, a 22-year-old college student, referred to as T, lodged a serious complaint against her 21-year-old roommate, who also happened to be named T. The older T claimed that she had detected the smell of “gas” wafting through their apartment’s vents, which she claimed exacerbated her “life-threatening asthma and allergies.” This accusation forced the younger T to defend herself in front of the housing director just a day later, with the threat of expulsion looming over her head. While the younger T vehemently denied the claims, it took the intervention of a staff member who knew her well to clear her name.
Fast forward to April 20th, the younger T was enjoying a night in with some friends, drinking and playing music in their shared living space, when the older T decided to call the resident assistant (RA) once again to report her. Despite the younger T being right at her door when her friends arrived, the confrontation escalated into a shouting match. The older T accused her roommate of causing her asthma to worsen, despite having no proof to back her claims.
The stage was set for the ultimate showdown when, later that night, the older T hosted a gathering of her own friends. They filled the living room with smoke, clearly violating the same rules she had tried to enforce against her roommate just weeks prior. The younger T couldn’t contain her disbelief at the hypocrisy—how could someone with “life-threatening asthma” be puffing away in the living room?
Confronting the older T about her smoking led to another heated argument, with both roommates shouting at each other. Things escalated quickly, and in an attempt to de-escalate the situation, the younger T called the authorities, thinking she was only going to file a housing report. It wasn’t her intention to escalate matters; she just wanted to address the double standard.
The morning after the confrontation was a turning point. The housing director called them in for a meeting to discuss the whole ordeal. Armed with a photo that documented the older T smoking with friends, the younger T presented her case, while the older T had nothing but her earlier claims to support her. The result was not in favor of the older T—she had broken the no smoking rule and her contradictions ultimately led to serious repercussions. The director sternly informed her that she might not even be able to walk at graduation that Friday.
Throughout the whole ordeal, the younger T had the backing of the RA, who confirmed that no evidence of any wrongdoing had ever been found in her room. With all the cards stacked against the older T, the younger T felt a mix of relief and vindication. However, her mother urged her to be the “bigger person” and petition the housing office to let the older T walk at graduation. Yet, the younger T found herself wrestling with empathy. After everything the older T had done to her, she felt little sympathy. If the older T hadn’t cared about her well-being during the semester, why should she care now?
The conflict seemed to serve as a lesson in hypocrisy, entitlement, and the tangled web of college living. The younger T’s story resonated with many, sparking conversations around boundaries, integrity, and the sometimes toxic dynamics between roommates. Should she have taken the higher road and intervened to allow her roommate a chance at graduation? After everything that had transpired, her heart tugged in the opposite direction.
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