Twenty-Year-Old Four Years Into Therapy Mentioned She and Her ED-Survivor Best Friend Were Sharing Meals to Make Sure Each Got Food — Her Therapist Said “Absolutely Not” Because Her Friend Isn’t a Dietician, Then Asked Her to Count Calories and Said Vegetables “Don’t Have a Lot of Calories”

In a recent post on Reddit, a twenty-year-old female user, who has been in therapy for the past four years, expressed her confusion and disappointment over a particular session with her therapist. Having dealt with various personal issues in therapy before, she felt that, overall, her therapist had been a significant support in her life. Yet, as she began struggling with disordered eating, the guidance she received during her latest appointment felt off, and she was left questioning whether she should continue seeing her therapist.

Recently, the user had been navigating some challenging waters regarding her eating habits. A close friend, who herself is a survivor of an eating disorder, had pointed out some concerning signs in her behavior. It was a candid conversation that led to an agreement between the two friends to share meals together. The idea was simple: they would support each other to ensure they both got enough to eat. Despite the potential risks of competitive behavior, the user felt confident that their friendship was solid enough to handle it. Encouraged by her friend, she decided to talk about this arrangement during her therapy session.

However, when she brought it up, the therapist’s reaction was not what she had expected. The therapist immediately dismissed the idea of sharing meals, asking pointedly if the user’s friend was a dietician or a therapist. The user recalled feeling shocked and slightly shut down by the response. What followed was a series of questions focused on her daily eating habits that left her feeling uneasy. Instead of feeling supported, she found herself lying about her food intake, an instinctive reaction to the intense questioning.

As the session continued, the therapist made a comment that further unsettled her: “Vegetables don’t have a lot of calories.” This led to a discussion about daily calorie needs, with the therapist suggesting that she start counting her calories to ensure she was getting enough. It struck the user as contradictory advice, especially given her ongoing struggles with disordered eating. She had thought the aim was to address the underlying psychological issues rather than focus on numbers and restrictions.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, the user decided to reach out for a second opinion after the session. She called an eating disorder helpline to ask if counting calories was a good recommendation for someone with her history. The response from the helpline confirmed her concerns: counting calories could indeed be harmful and shouldn’t be a go-to solution for addressing her issues. This left her feeling even more confused about her therapist’s approach.

Post-session, the user reflected on the bizarre dynamic of the appointment. She felt it should have leaned more toward exploring her psychological barriers rather than being interrogated over her dietary choices. After four years working with this therapist, she never expected to feel this way, and it was unsettling. Questioning if this was standard behavior for therapists, she ultimately decided to cancel her follow-up appointment for the next day. This decision was met with a somewhat cold response about cancellation policies, which only fueled her anxiety about whether her therapist would drop her as a client.

As she sat with her feelings, the user grappled with a sense of betrayal and confusion. She could not shake the feeling that she needed more time to process what had happened. Although she acknowledged that her therapist had been a source of help in her life, the recent appointment felt more like an interrogation than a supportive conversation. Now, the user found herself questioning if she was overreacting by wanting to seek a new therapist or if her instincts were telling her to make a change for her well-being.

In her post, she asked the Reddit community for insight, hoping to find clarity on whether her feelings were valid or if she was merely overreacting in light of the situation. The response she sought was less about advice on her eating habits and more about her feelings regarding the therapeutic alliance she had built over the years.