Why Empty Nesters Are More Likely to Divorce

Empty nest syndrome is a phenomenon that many parents experience when their children leave home. This significant life change can lead to an array of emotions and unexpected challenges, one of which is divorce. As surprising as it may sound, empty nesters, or parents whose children have moved out, are more likely to divorce than parents with younger children. This article is based on real-world trends, data, expert interviews, and surveys, which all indicate a rising trend in so-called ‘grey divorces’. We will explore the key reasons why empty nesters are more likely to divorce, providing a thorough understanding of the underlying factors.

Each point discussed in the article delivers a comprehensive explanation about the potential causes that could lead empty nesters towards divorce. The information provided will not only help you understand this trend better but also provide insights on how to navigate through this phase in life. Let’s dive in:

Loss of Common Purpose

For many years, parents’ lives revolve around their children’s needs – from schooling to extracurricular activities. This shared responsibility often acts as the glue holding the marriage together. However, once the children leave, the common purpose disappears, and couples may find that they have grown apart over the years. They may also realize they have different goals and interests that they couldn’t pursue earlier due to parental responsibilities.

This trend is becoming increasingly notable as more parents are choosing to reassess their relationships post-childrearing. Experts advise couples to continuously work on their relationship, even while raising children, to avoid growing apart when they become empty nesters.

Increased Life Expectancy

Increased life expectancy means that couples are spending more years together post-retirement. This has led to a rise in ‘grey divorces’ – divorces among those aged 50 and above. Empty nesters might feel that they have many more years ahead and do not want to spend them in an unhappy marriage.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average life expectancy has increased significantly over the past few decades. Therefore, it’s crucial for couples to keep reinventing their relationship to ensure its longevity.

Lack of Communication

Throughout the child-rearing years, couples may neglect their own relationship. This can lead to communication gaps, which become more evident when children leave home. The couple may find it hard to reconnect, leading to feelings of discontentment and loneliness.

Experts suggest that maintaining open lines of communication throughout the marriage can help couples navigate through the empty nest phase more smoothly. Regular conversations about each other’s feelings, expectations, and dreams can help keep the relationship strong.

Identity Crisis

Many parents tie their identity to their role as a parent. When children leave home, these parents may experience an identity crisis, feeling lost or aimless. This can lead to marital discord if not addressed properly.

Psychologists recommend seeking professional help if you’re struggling with an identity crisis. It’s crucial to redefine your individual identity outside of parenthood to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse.

Financial Stress

Financial issues can put a strain on any relationship. For empty nesters, financial stress could result from college tuition fees, retirement savings, or other unforeseen expenses. These financial pressures can lead to disagreements and marital discord.

Financial planning and open discussions about money can help alleviate financial stress. Financial advisors suggest having a clear understanding of your financial situation and setting realistic goals for the future.

Unresolved Issues

Many couples put off dealing with marital issues until after the children have left home. However, these unresolved issues can resurface during the empty nest phase, leading to conflict and potential divorce.

Addressing marital issues as they arise can help prevent them from escalating later. Couples counseling can provide a safe space to discuss these issues and find resolutions.

Desire for Personal Freedom

Years of raising children can leave some parents yearning for personal freedom. Once the children leave, they may want to explore new interests, careers, or even relationships, which can lead to divorce.

This desire for personal freedom is becoming more common as society becomes more accepting of late-life divorces. Experts suggest discussing these feelings openly with your spouse to find a solution that works for both parties.

Physical and Mental Health Issues

Health issues can put a strain on a relationship. If one partner is dealing with health problems, it can increase stress and lead to marital discord. This can be exacerbated during the empty nest phase when couples spend more time together.

It’s essential to seek proper medical care and support if you or your spouse is dealing with health issues. Couples therapy can also help manage the stress and conflict that may arise.

Infidelity

Infidelity is a common cause of divorce at any stage of life. For empty nesters, the newfound freedom and time can sometimes lead to affairs, leading to the breakdown of the marriage.

Trust and communication are key to preventing infidelity. Couples should be open about their feelings and concerns to maintain a healthy relationship.

Retirement Stress

The transition into retirement can be stressful, leading to conflict in a marriage. Changes in daily routines, financial stability, and roles within the household can cause strain on the relationship.

Proper planning and open communication can help ease the transition into retirement. It’s important to discuss expectations and plan for changes to ensure a smooth transition.