The note is handwritten on a single sheet of paper, and she holds it up to the camera with the writing blurred out. Only the caption over it is readable: “that says we have nothing in common and we’re incompatible.” The next frame is a black screen with two words on it: “oh no.”
That moment sits in the middle of a 91 second reel posted by @spritely, who tells the whole story of her breakup in second person, one caption at a time, over her own photos and clips. Her boyfriend appears in many of them, and in every shot his face is covered by a green alien emoji. Her caption on the post is three words long: “Anyway how have you been?”
It starts with a smiling selfie against the Los Angeles skyline: “you live in LA with your boyfriend and everything’s going amazing.” Then comes the turn: “Till he says: ‘babe I wanna move back to Texas… to be closer to my dad.'” A Texas flag sticker and a hand drawn heart with the word “DAD” in it fill the screen.
What follows is a list of everything she says she gave up to make that move happen, each line laid over footage from her life at the time. Over a clip of a band playing an outdoor show at night, and then a shot of a home recording setup, the caption reads “so you give up half of your career.” Over a stage full of performers, and a living room full of friends: “quit your improv troupe and have a goodbye party.” Over shots of her clearing shelves in an apartment: “take off months of work, deplete your savings to pay for movers.”
Then the road trip: “and drive to Texas,” with a gray cat riding in the car among blankets and boxes. A selfie of the two of them carries the line “It’s so worth it for the love of your life,” followed by “That wants future with you” and, on a black screen, “because he said so.”
The new life takes time to build. She shows moving containers lined up on a residential street and says she spent a month waiting for her things to arrive, “and then another month moving in.” There is a clip of her in ear protection at a miter saw, “building furniture and stuff,” and a shot of her beaming on a chair: “and you’re soooo happy.”
Then he “comes back from a family vacation,” she writes, “sits on your couch which just arrived in the mail and hands you a note.” That is the letter, and the “oh no.”
The second half of the reel is her reacting, mostly crying in the driver’s seat of her car. The captions get louder: “How how did I not notice?!” Over old couple photos: “Three and a half years of happiness.” Back in the car: “we’ve been incompatible!!!! this whole time!!” and “and that we have NOTHING in common!!!” Lying in bed with her hands over her face: “what a surprise!” and “thank you for INFORMING me.”
She ends it with dark humor. “So you pack up your car with whatever you can fit in it,” one caption says, before the next corrects it: “just kidding you’re crying too hard so he has to pack it for you.” The final shots are of her car’s navigation screen showing Interstate 10 East, 695 miles and nine hours and 38 minutes to go: “and then you drive to Florida to live with your mom.”
Before You Move Across the Country for a Partner
Her reel is a checklist of what a relocation for someone else can cost: a share of a career, a creative community, months of income, savings and the movers’ bill. If you are weighing a move like that, these steps follow directly from what she lost.
Have the long term conversation before the lease, not after. Her captions make the point that she moved for someone who “wants future with you” because “he said so.” Ask specific questions before you go: how long you both plan to stay, whose name the housing will be in, and what happens to the move if the relationship ends.
Protect one piece of your career. She says she gave up “half” of hers and quit her improv troupe. If your work can be done remotely, keep one regular client, gig or collaboration going from the new city rather than closing everything in the old one.
Do not drain your savings for the move. She says she took months off and depleted her savings to pay for movers. Set aside enough to move yourself again, because that is exactly what she ended up having to do, all the way to Florida.
Keep receipts for what you buy. She bought and built furniture for the new place; the couch had just arrived when the note was handed over. Keeping proof of what you paid for makes dividing things simple if you leave.
Know where you would land. Her soft landing was her mom’s home in Florida. Before you move for anyone, know who you could call and where you could go if the plan falls apart.
More from Cultivated Comfort
- Cruise Ship Performer Says Her Fiancé Dumped Her Mid-Contract, Then Reveals She Still Had to Stand Beside Him and Sing Their Duet Night After Night for the Rest of the Contract
- Woman Admits the Confusion in Her Relationship Was What Kept Her Stuck as Naming the Confusion Out Loud Was the First Step Toward Finally Walking Away
- Woman Tells Anyone Waiting for the Next Man to Change Her Life to Stop Treating His Attention Like Her Entire Future and Start Building Her Own Options
