A woman says a new relationship has taken a weird turn after her boyfriend started calling her “mommy” — and won’t stop, even after she’s told him it makes her uncomfortable. In her account, what began as an offhand joke quickly became a regular habit, one he treats like a punchline whenever she tries to set a boundary. Now she’s wondering whether she’s overreacting or staring straight at a red flag.
It’s the kind of problem that sounds funny in a group chat until you’re the one living it. Pet names are supposed to be cute, personal, and consensual. When the nickname feels more like a power move than a term of affection, the vibe changes fast.
“At first I thought he was kidding”
According to the woman, her boyfriend started using “mommy” early in their relationship, slipping it into casual conversations in a way that caught her off guard. She says she laughed once, assuming it was a one-time joke, but it didn’t end there. Soon it became frequent enough that she started feeling tense whenever he opened his mouth in public.
She’s not offended by people who enjoy the term in their own relationships, she explained — it’s just not her thing. The problem, she says, is that he didn’t check whether she was comfortable with it. He simply decided it was “their” nickname and kept going.
She told him she’s uncomfortable — and says he laughs it off
The part that really stuck with readers is her claim that she’s already tried to address it directly. “I’ve told him I’m uncomfortable and he laughs it off,” she admitted, describing a pattern where he acts like she’s being overly sensitive. Instead of taking her seriously, she says he either smirks, changes the subject, or repeats it again like he’s testing how far he can push.
That reaction can feel especially dismissive because it flips the conversation from “I need you to respect me” to “You just don’t get my humor.” And humor can be a handy disguise for ignoring someone’s boundaries. When someone laughs at your discomfort, the issue isn’t the nickname anymore — it’s the dynamic.
Why “mommy” hits differently than other pet names
Pet names usually land in familiar territory: “babe,” “love,” “honey,” maybe something goofy like “bean.” “Mommy,” though, carries extra baggage, and not everyone’s comfortable with the parent-child association, the sexual undertone, or both. Even if he means it flirtatiously, it can still feel jarring, infantilizing, or plain embarrassing.
Context matters, too. If he’s saying it in private during consensual roleplay, that’s one conversation. If he’s tossing it out while you’re ordering tacos or meeting friends, it can feel like he’s dragging you into a dynamic you didn’t sign up for — and making you the unwilling star of his bit.
Friends and commenters aren’t focused on the word — they’re focused on the disrespect
People reacting to her story tend to split into two camps at first: those who think “mommy” is inherently odd and those who shrug and say it’s just a kink-adjacent pet name. But as the details sink in, most of the attention shifts away from the word itself. The real concern is that she expressed discomfort and he treated it like a joke.
In healthy relationships, “No, I don’t like that” is supposed to end the debate, not start a comedy routine. When a partner repeatedly ignores small boundaries, it can create a bigger message: that your comfort is optional. And if he’s comfortable steamrolling a simple request now, it raises questions about what happens when the stakes are higher.
What might be going on with him?
There are a few possibilities, and none require mind-reading to address. Maybe he thinks he’s being playful and genuinely doesn’t realize how much it bothers her. Maybe he enjoys the reaction and is leaning into it because it gives him a sense of control or attention. Or maybe he’s testing how much he can get away with early on, when people are often trying to be “cool” and accommodating.
Whatever the motivation, the fix is straightforward: he either stops or he doesn’t. If a partner needs a 12-step program to quit a nickname you hate, the nickname isn’t the problem. The problem is that he’s prioritizing his entertainment over your dignity.
A small boundary can reveal a lot about the relationship
One of the sneaky things about early dating is that major issues rarely show up as major issues. They show up as “tiny” situations that feel too silly to argue about, like a nickname, a joke at your expense, or a repeated “accident” that only ever seems to bother you. Those moments matter because they show how conflict gets handled.
If you say, “I don’t like this,” and your partner responds with curiosity and care, that’s a good sign. If you say it and your partner rolls their eyes, laughs, or doubles down, that’s also a sign — just not the kind you want. Respect isn’t supposed to be a debate club.
What she can say next (if she wants to give it one more shot)
If she’s looking for a practical script, it’s often best to keep it short and non-negotiable. Something like: “I don’t like being called ‘mommy.’ I’ve said that before. I need you to stop, and I’m not joking.” Clear, calm, and direct can be more effective than a long explanation that gives him room to argue.
It can also help to add a consequence, not as a threat, but as information. For example: “If you call me that again, I’m going to end the conversation and leave.” Or: “If this keeps happening, I’m going to rethink whether we’re compatible.” People who respect you don’t need consequences to behave, but consequences clarify reality for people who keep “forgetting.”
If he still won’t stop, the question becomes bigger than a nickname
At that point, she’s not deciding whether she can tolerate an awkward pet name. She’s deciding whether she wants to date someone who treats her discomfort as entertainment. That can chip away at trust quickly, because it teaches you that speaking up won’t help — it’ll just get you laughed at.
Compatibility isn’t only about chemistry and shared interests. It’s also about whether your partner can hear a “no” without sulking, teasing, or pushing. If he can’t manage that over something as simple as what he calls her, it’s fair for her to wonder what other boundaries he’ll treat as optional.
Not everyone will agree — and that’s kind of the point
Some couples genuinely use “mommy” or “daddy” as affectionate names, and it works because both people are into it. That’s the key detail: both people. Consent isn’t just for big, dramatic moments; it’s for the everyday stuff that shapes how you feel in your own skin.
In the end, she doesn’t need a jury to validate her discomfort. If she hates being called “mommy,” that’s enough. The real test is whether her boyfriend cares enough to stop — and whether she wants to stick around if he won’t.
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As a mom of three busy boys, I know how chaotic life can get — but I’ve learned that it’s possible to create a beautiful, cozy home even with kids running around. That’s why I started Cultivated Comfort — to share practical tips, simple systems, and a little encouragement for parents like me who want to make their home feel warm, inviting, and effortlessly stylish. Whether it’s managing toy chaos, streamlining everyday routines, or finding little moments of calm, I’m here to help you simplify your space and create a sense of comfort.
But home is just part of the story. I’m also passionate about seeing the world and creating beautiful meals to share with the people I love. Through Cultivated Comfort, I share my journey of balancing motherhood with building a home that feels rich and peaceful — and finding joy in exploring new places and flavors along the way.
