A woman in her mid-30s says raising her own children recently forced her to confront something painful about her childhood.
While reflecting on how she cares for her kids today, she realized that many basic life skills — things like hygiene, self-care, and even affection — were never taught to her growing up.
And the realization has left her sorting through years of confusion and shame.
A Childhood That Felt Normal at the Time
The woman explained that, on the surface, her upbringing didn’t seem unusual.
Her father worked constantly to support the family, while her mother stayed home raising four children. They never lacked basic necessities.
But looking back as an adult, she now sees that something important was missing.
Affection was rare.
She remembers her father hugging her only once — when her grandmother passed away. Her mother said “I love you” to her only one time, when she was about 19 years old.
Meanwhile, she later noticed that her mother expressed love more openly to her siblings after they left for the military.
That difference still leaves her wondering why she felt so overlooked growing up.
Learning Life Skills the Hard Way
As she shared more details, it became clear that many everyday skills were never discussed or taught in her home.
When she got her first menstrual cycle, she had no idea what was happening and hid it for several days.
Her mother eventually handed her some pads but never explained how they worked or discussed alternatives like tampons. The first time she used a tampon, she learned by reading the instruction pamphlet inside the box.
Basic hygiene was another challenge.
Her parents never enforced brushing teeth, which left her feeling deeply embarrassed during dental visits as plaque built up over time.
She also said she never learned about skincare growing up.
In fact, she realized during a Girl Scout meeting that other girls had facial care routines — something she had never even heard of.
“I realized I never washed my face… ever,” she wrote.
Hair care, makeup, and beauty basics were also things she had to figure out alone later in life.
Figuring Things Out as an Adult
Many of the skills she now uses were learned through trial and error, friends, roommates, or reading online communities.
For example, she didn’t learn how to do laundry until a roommate showed her after she moved out.
Even today, she sometimes wonders whether she’s doing certain things correctly.
Despite that lingering uncertainty, she says she’s slowly building routines for things like skincare and self-care.
But the emotional weight of realizing what she missed growing up still stays with her.
Why the Story Resonated With Readers
The post struck a chord with many people who felt they also grew up in homes where certain topics were never discussed.
For some readers, the issue wasn’t about neglect in the traditional sense, but about parents who were emotionally distant or uncomfortable talking about personal topics.
Others said they had to learn many of the same skills from friends, magazines, or the internet.
Reddit’s Reaction
Many commenters reassured the woman that she’s far from alone.
One user, yaycourtney666, suggested starting with beginner-friendly skincare kits that include numbered steps.
Others simply encouraged her to be proud of how far she’s come.
User SomedaySelkie wrote:
“Great job figuring things out yourself and continuing to learn new skills.”
Many readers also praised her for breaking the cycle with her own children.
She says she now makes a point to hug her kids, tell them she loves them, and openly talk about emotions — things she rarely experienced growing up.
For her, that’s the most important lesson she’s taken from reflecting on the past.
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As a mom of three busy boys, I know how chaotic life can get — but I’ve learned that it’s possible to create a beautiful, cozy home even with kids running around. That’s why I started Cultivated Comfort — to share practical tips, simple systems, and a little encouragement for parents like me who want to make their home feel warm, inviting, and effortlessly stylish. Whether it’s managing toy chaos, streamlining everyday routines, or finding little moments of calm, I’m here to help you simplify your space and create a sense of comfort.
But home is just part of the story. I’m also passionate about seeing the world and creating beautiful meals to share with the people I love. Through Cultivated Comfort, I share my journey of balancing motherhood with building a home that feels rich and peaceful — and finding joy in exploring new places and flavors along the way.
