My Dad Secretly Ruined My Credit When I Was a Teen, and Now He Wants My Social Security Number Again So He Can “Clear Some Debt”

In a world where family relationships can be complex and fraught with emotional baggage, one woman is grappling with the fallout from a difficult past with her father. At 28, she’s faced a situation that many might find themselves in—deciding whether or not to trust a parent who has previously betrayed that trust in significant ways. Here’s her story.

Growing up, this woman (let’s call her Sarah) had a rocky relationship with her father (58M), largely due to his struggles with addiction. From a young age, Sarah was forced to navigate the tumultuous waters of a household affected by her father’s choices. By the time she was just 15, the weight of the family issues became too much, and she decided to go out on her own. Unfortunately, her father’s actions didn’t stop there; he had put bills and even cars in Sarah’s name without her knowledge, leaving her with a mountain of debt that would haunt her for years. This experience has made it difficult for Sarah to trust him, and their relationship has remained largely estranged since.

Fast forward to last week when Sarah received a text from her father asking for her Social Security number. His explanation? He claimed that he needed it to “clear some debt.” This vague request immediately raised red flags for Sarah. Having been an adult at the time he incurred the debts he referred to and never having been claimed on taxes, she couldn’t comprehend how her SSN would be relevant to his situation. Given their tumultuous history, trust is a luxury Sarah can’t afford when it comes to her father.

Amidst this confusion, Sarah found herself in a dilemma. Despite recognizing the absurdity of his request, part of her worried that refusing might sever the already fragile relationship they had. Her mother and boyfriend both advised against giving him her Social Security number, echoing her own instincts. Yet, there was still a nagging doubt—was she overreacting due to the trauma of her past with her father?

Adding to the complexity of the situation is the fact that Sarah’s credit has been locked for the past five years. The damage her father had done to her credit during her teenage years had taken her years to recover from. Though he has claimed to have overcome his addiction and financial issues in recent years, Sarah remains skeptical. Her younger siblings, who did not experience the same trauma, seem more willing to trust him. One brother even gave his SSN to their father. This created an internal conflict for Sarah, who wondered if her reluctance was simply a remnant of her past, making her feel like the odd one out in a family that seems to be moving on.

As she deliberates her next move, Sarah seeks clarity in a situation filled with uncertainty. Is she within her rights to refuse her father’s request, or is her hesitation driven by a past that clouds her judgment? The very essence of family—trust, love, and support—becomes convoluted when past hurts linger in the shadows. While her siblings may not understand her hesitance, Sarah knows that the stakes are high when it comes to her identity and financial stability.

In the subreddit r/AmITheAsshole, users weighed in on this personal conundrum. The overwhelming sentiment from the commenters was clear: Sarah should not give her father her Social Security number. Many have echoed her concerns about identity theft and financial ruin, some even suggesting that her father’s request may be a manipulative tactic. “Letting him steal your identity again won’t make him love you,” one commenter pointed out, reminding Sarah that prioritizing her well-being is essential.

Ultimately, Sarah is left pondering the implications of her decision. The question remains: can a bond be rebuilt when the foundation has been riddled with betrayal? For now, her answer lies in self-preservation, an instinct sharpened by years of navigating a complicated relationship with her father.

As she reflects on her situation, one thing is clear—her story serves as a cautionary tale for anyone grappling with familial trust issues. It’s a reminder that while family can be a source of love and support, it can also present situations fraught with risk and emotional complexity.