Not exactly sure if this is the right thread but… Here we go. So I’ve been a paramedic for about 20 years now. Just a little minor background info: I am trans and bisexual. The story I’m about to share happened about eight years before I came out as trans, and it’s one that definitely stands out. It all began with a 911 call for a 14-year-old boy who was supposedly “intoxicated,” based on the dispatch notes.
When we arrived at the scene, we found a very contrite and not at all intoxicated boy, and a livid mom. Let’s call her Karen. Karen had discovered her son behind the garage smoking weed, and in her panic, she decided that calling 911 was the best course of action. She told the dispatcher that her son was “using drugs.” At that time, weed was still illegal in New York, so I guess she thought she was doing the right thing – though it was a stretch.
As I assessed her son, I could tell he was actually just embarrassed. At one point, he looked at me and said, “I’m so sorry my mom’s a crazy idiot.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his comment. We were all thinking the same thing. His vitals were normal, and he was just a kid who made a typical teenage mistake. Not exactly a medical emergency.
However, Karen was on a rampage. She insisted we take her son to the ER and demanded that they “pump his stomach.” This request was perplexing to me because, well, he hadn’t actually eaten the weed. But New York state law forced our hand; since he was a minor, we had to take him to the hospital. So, off we went, with Karen in the back with us and her son trying to navigate the embarrassment of the situation.
In the midst of everything, I casually asked Karen why she was freaking out so much. I mean, kids smoking weed isn’t exactly unheard of; it’s not like he was doing a line of heroin or something. Her response was explosive. She lost her mind, shouting, “Because weed makes you gay!!”
Now, I don’t even know what came over me at that moment. I’ve been openly bisexual for most of my life, and I’m just so tired of hearing all these ridiculous claims about what makes someone gay or not. So I looked her dead in the eye and, with a completely straight face, I said, “I’ve smoked weed for years; that’s not what made me bisexual. I just like dick.”
Her reaction was priceless. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish for a good few seconds as she struggled to find words. But after that, she fell silent. It was as if I had dropped a verbal bomb that rendered her completely speechless.
By the time we reached the ER, her son and I were laughing and joking, lightening the mood that had been so tense just a moment before. Karen, on the other hand, was noticeably quieter. When we got to the hospital, one of the doctors glanced at the kid, then back at Karen, and said, “He’s not broken, bleeding, or dead. Get him out of my ER!”
Honestly, that whole experience sticks with me. It was a whirlwind of panic, humor, and a reminder of how over-the-top parents can be when it comes to their kids. It’s wild that a simple mistake can send someone into a spiral of anxiety. But sometimes, all it takes is a well-timed comeback to change the narrative.
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