In a rural area, a man—let’s call him Farmer—decided to purchase an 80-acre plot of land to build a house. Excited about his future homestead, he planned ahead, creating a .4-mile driveway that would lead to his future home site. Meanwhile, a neighbor known as “Shit for Brains” (or SFB for short) approached him about renting the fields. SFB had previously rented from the land’s former owner, but his offer was paltry. After some back-and-forth negotiations, they settled on $70 per acre, but with three crucial stipulations: SFB could not plant on the designated yard, he couldn’t plant on the newly prepped driveway, and he had to harvest the corn before December 1.
SFB reluctantly signed the contract, but Farmer had to leave for the city shortly after. Two weeks later, Farmer got a surprising call from his dad: SFB had plowed through the driveway and planted corn on it. Not only that, but he had parked all his equipment on the freshly seeded lawn, ignoring the flags marking the yard. Farmer was infuriated but his dad urged him to calm down and just repair the driveway, which was still mostly intact.
As if that weren’t enough, SFB had also driven over a burn pile, flattening two tires in the process. When he came to retrieve his equipment one muddy day, he knocked on Farmer’s dad’s door to complain. Dad explained how SFB had planted corn on the driveway, which made SFB’s complaints rather hollow. By December, with rent still unpaid and corn over-optimistically ripe, Farmer drove to SFB’s home. Only SFB’s wife was there, and when Farmer expressed his concerns, she promised to relay the message. But SFB never showed up.
Fast-forward to December 2, and construction crews arrived with equipment to start building Farmer’s pole shed. But to their dismay, they found SFB’s massive combine blocking the driveway entirely. They called Farmer, who suggested they just drive around the cornfield to bypass the obstruction. Since SFB’s rental agreement had technically expired, with corn still in place, Farmer felt he had the upper hand.
The next day, when the construction crew arrived, they had to bulldoze about a tenth of an acre just to get things leveled out for the gravel. That’s when SFB stormed down to confront Farmer, livid about the ruined fields. Farmer calmly pointed out that they had a contract, which SFB was now trying to deny having signed.
“You never signed any contract!” SFB shouted. Farmer was unfazed. “If that’s the case, then since I never received any payment for the rent, that corn is technically mine,” he replied. SFB was floundering, now realizing the precarious position he was in. SFB, who just so happened to be a county commissioner, decided to pull a favor from a police officer he knew, asking him to come out and stop the construction damage.
The officer arrived, but naturally, heard only SFB’s side of the story first. Farmer took the opportunity to show the cop the written contract, further explaining how SFB had damaged the driveway and failed to clear his crops on time. The officer, considering Farmer’s position, suggested, “I have access to a combine. I can help you cut it down. If he pays you, I’ll give him the corn—minus what it costs to harvest and the rent for storage.” If SFB didn’t settle up, the officer said he’d cover the rent himself.
Fast-forward to January, and surprisingly, SFB had actually paid the cop for the corn. However, he tried to submit a receipt dated back to the previous year for tax purposes, which the officer staunchly refused to sign unless it was accurate. SFB, who was now desperate, had to initial the date change, much to his displeasure.
In a twist of fate, SFB lost his county commissioner seat the following year. It turned out that his abuse of office had been exposed—perhaps thanks to the cop’s discretion in handling the situation. As for Farmer and his plans, he was finally able to build his home, and SFB got a harsh lesson on respecting contracts and boundaries.
More from Cultivated Comfort:
- 7 Vintage Home Items From the ’60s That Are Collectors’ Dream Finds
- 7 Vintage Home Goods That Became Collectors’ Gold
- 7 Fast-Food Chains That Changed for the Worse
- 7 Frozen Dinners That Were Better Back in the Day
