Hello, dear readers! Today’s story comes from the daily life of a wonderful woman who goes by the name of Your Friendly Neighborhood Cripple™️. For those unfamiliar with her, she’s a T-7 paraplegic, navigating life with her brilliant service dog named Cap. Living in the American South, she finds herself frequently at odds with the Good Christian Women™️ who seem to take it upon themselves to judge the choices of others. Having grown up in a Catholic household, she’s had her fair share of experiences with clothing policing and judgment based on appearance.
A few days ago, she was out running errands, dressed in a comfortable outfit suitable for the sweltering heat. With temperatures soaring, she opted for knee-length shorts and a loose tank top over a sports bra. This resulted in her bra straps being visible, a detail she was well aware of but didn’t consider a crime against humanity. As she maneuvered through the town with Cap at her side—whose little paws were protected by booties to shield him from the scorching pavement—she was approached by a particularly judgmental woman. This woman was accompanied by her two teenage sons, who were already wearing the unmistakable look of embarrassment.
The Good Christian Woman™️ stepped directly into her path, forcing her to stop. “Excuse me, ma’am! Are you aware your bra straps are showing?” she exclaimed, her tone dripping with disapproval.
“Yes, and..?” replied our protagonist, raising an eyebrow in bemusement. Little did she know how much this woman was about to test her patience.
The mother continued, “Your bra straps are a test of my sons’ purity. You are leading them to thoughts of lust and sin!” The sons shifted uncomfortably, visibly cringing at their mother’s outburst.
Not one to back down, she quickly shot back, “Huh. Do you also tell young men with their underwear showing out the back of their pants to pull them up, or do you only shame women and girls? Besides, doesn’t your book say something about plucking out your own eye if it causes you to sin?”
The woman’s face indicated she was unprepared for this kind of rebuttal. “I’m not talking about them; I’m talking about you and your whore ways!” she retorted, as if that statement could somehow validate her previous comments.
With her characteristic sharp wit, our protagonist countered effortlessly, “Well, if your sons want to fap it to an obese, middle-aged cripple with saggy tits, I’m not gonna stop them.” With that, she swerved around the stunned woman and continued on with her day, leaving the boys bright red in their uniforms—whether from embarrassment or from the heat was anyone’s guess.
As she walked away, she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. The whole encounter was absurd, but it perfectly encapsulated the kind of ridiculousness she faces living in a community where others think they have the right to dictate how people should dress or act. It’s a lesson she’s well-acquainted with: sometimes, people need a reminder to mind their own business.
So here’s hoping the Good Christian Woman™️ learns a lesson from this encounter, as small as it may be. Meanwhile, our protagonist hopes the rest of her readers are taking care of themselves and enjoying their lives, despite the occasional run-in with those who think their judgment holds more weight than it actually does.
Stay cool, stay hydrated, and take care of each other out there!
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