In a small shop where the atmosphere should ideally foster camaraderie, one woman found herself navigating a workplace dynamic that quickly turned uncomfortable. She was the only woman among 16 employees, all male, and the setting was complicated by three single-stall bathrooms. Even in a place built for collaboration, things took a bizarre turn when a male coworker’s peculiar behavior started to intrude on her daily routine.
The issue began with cleanliness—or rather, the lack thereof. The woman noticed that one coworker, in particular, had a habit of not flushing the toilet after using it. She had no concrete evidence that it was him every time, but she was certain it wasn’t just a coincidence. The guy operated under a personal mantra of “if it’s yellow, let it mellow,” which, while perhaps fitting in certain home environments, was a different story in a shared workplace restroom.
There were other problems too; lack of respect for bathroom etiquette was just one of them. This coworker, who we’ll call Greg, was also known for making uncomfortable comments that could send chills down anyone’s spine. Their first interaction left her feeling uneasy when he remarked, “Oh, so my daughter is a lesbian,” before going on to share his own daughter’s coming out story. Maybe he thought he was being relatable or supportive, but to the woman, it simply came off as invasive and awkward.
Things escalated when Greg decided to humorously mention to her that he thought it would be funny to ask her dad about her relationship status, suggesting a prank. And he did this after telling her that he loved her because he was sure her own dad didn’t say it enough. This bizarre mix of comments—hovering between friendliness and discomfort—made it clear that addressing the bathroom issue directly with him would be awkward at best, and potentially very uncomfortable at worst.
As the daily restroom visits became more cringe-inducing, she took a step back to evaluate how to handle the situation. She had previously mentioned the bathroom cleanliness issue to her supervisor, who promised to address it during meetings. But as often happens with workplace concerns, nothing changed. It seemed the only solution left was to take matters into her own hands.
One idea took shape in her mind: putting up a sign in the bathroom. In her head, she debated different phrases to get the point across without calling anyone out directly. “If it’s yellow, DON’T let it mellow. We don’t care what you do at home, but this is your workplace. Flush after every use,” she would contemplate. Alternatively, she pondered going for something a bit snarkier: “To whoever is letting their yellow mellow, you need to drink more water. Also, you need to flush.”
She wrestled with the ethics of it all. Would installing a sign make her the office villain, or would it be a humorous yet necessary nudge for an ill-mannered coworker? After all, it was a workplace, and cleanliness should be a shared responsibility. But the stakes felt higher given Greg’s previous comments about her and the potential for misinterpretation. If he were to see the sign and think it was directed at him, would he retaliate with awkwardness or worse, make her feel even more uncomfortable in a shared space?
As the days went by, her frustrations mixed with her anxiety about confronting Greg directly. She weighed her options, knowing that whatever decision she made, it could ripple through the small team. Should she risk the backlash of putting up a sign? Or should she just continue dealing with the unpleasantness each day? The struggle was real, and each bathroom encounter served as a reminder of the uncomfortable reality she faced in what should have been a neutral space at work.
The question loomed: Would she be in the wrong to put up a sign rather than confront the issue head-on? It was a dilemma that pitted personal discomfort against workplace norms, and it was far from resolved.
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