Singles are choosing calm over chemistry. Match’s newly released 15th annual Singles in America study found that when asked what matters more in a relationship, respondents were more than twice as likely to pick peace and emotional safety over passion and excitement — 34% versus 14%, according to the company’s September 10 press release.
The gap widens sharply among women. Forty percent said they would rather feel emotionally safe with a partner than swept up in excitement, while just 9% chose passion, per the release. That is more than four times as many women choosing calm over spark.
The study surveyed roughly 5,000 single U.S. adults age 18 and older between March and April 2026, conducted with researchers from The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Respondents were balanced for age and gender against U.S. Census data and answered more than 100 questions covering attraction, dating habits, and social life.
Key Points
- 34% of singles now prioritize peace and emotional safety over passion (14%)
- Among women, that split widens to 40% versus 9%
- Feeling respected (61%), listened to (56%), and able to share without judgment (54%) top what singles say builds emotional safety
- 72% remain interested in dating or a relationship despite the shift
What singles mean by “safety” has specific edges, according to the data. Sixty-one percent said feeling respected by a partner matters most, 56% pointed to feeling genuinely listened to, and 54% said being able to share feelings without judgment defines a secure connection. None of those factors depend on fireworks. They depend on consistency.
Money entered the picture too. Seventy-one percent of singles said being open about finances builds trust with a partner, and 89% agreed both people in a relationship should share equally in financial decisions. Emotional safety, in other words, extends past feelings into logistics.
Dr. Justin Garcia, executive director of The Kinsey Institute, framed the findings as a contradiction singles are learning to hold. “There’s an interesting tension in the data: singles today have clear expectations for a partner, but love still has the ability to surprise them,” he said in the release. Nearly half of respondents, 49%, reported falling for someone they weren’t initially attracted to, with great conversation cited as the leading reason attraction grew over time.
Stephanie Danzi, Match Group’s global chief marketing officer, described this year’s singles as unusually deliberate in the same release. “This year, singles are telling us they are more intentional and romantic than ever,” she said, adding that “intention is the new romance.”
The appetite for connection has not faded even as the criteria have shifted. Seventy-two percent of singles said they are interested in dating or a relationship, and 76% still believe romantic love can last forever. What has changed, per Match’s fifteenth year of data, is the order of operations: singles increasingly want to feel safe before they let themselves feel swept away.
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