Imagine a world flipped upside down by a global pandemic, with limits imposed not just on socializing but also on basic human functions. This was the reality for one woman, who found herself in a living situation that spiraled into absurdity. The story began right at the onset of COVID, but the seeds of chaos were planted much earlier.
Before the pandemic, she had just exited a tumultuous relationship. This wasn’t just any relationship; it was a classic example of a situationship gone awry. Her tiny dog, who had always been a source of comfort, loathed this man, and there were clear signs that something was off. When she finally broke free, she moved back in with her mom and stepdad, only to find it wasn’t a permanent solution. As soon as she began searching for a roommate, she thought she’d hit gold when she met Edith.
Edith, freshly divorced, was moving to the area and they quickly bonded over shared interests. The living arrangement seemed perfect at first; they decorated their shared balcony, cooked meals for each other, and even took their dogs to the park. All seemed well, but there were cracks in the facade that only grew wider with time.
It started subtly—with minor tensions over their dogs not getting along. Edith’s dog had a habit of marking territory, which resulted in multiple instances of ruined rugs. While polite apologies were exchanged, the lack of real resolution should have raised a flag. But it didn’t stop there.
Edith’s obsession with her ex-husband came to dominate their evening chats. Each wine night spiraled into an emotional therapy session. The conversation drifted from nostalgia to regret and back again, leaving the narrator feeling less like a roommate and more like an unwilling relationship counselor.
As the pandemic forced them both to adapt, Edith began to date again, bringing her new boyfriend around. The fun of having a space to themselves quickly turned into a discomforting experience. The walls were thin, and the noise from their shared walls became unbearable. It reached a point where the narrator decided to say something. When Edith shrugged it off with a flippant remark about her getting some, tension grew.
Then came the curfew. After expressing concerns about her dog’s sleep, Edith requested that the narrator be home by 9 p.m. and stay quarantined in her room afterward. The narrator complied, thinking it was a small price to pay for peace. But the situation escalated further when a simple act of using the ice maker after 9 p.m. triggered a meltdown from Edith. Texts flew in outlining how disrespectful it was to wake her dog, who apparently held a higher status than basic human needs.
Things took an even worse turn after the grandfather of the narrator’s boyfriend passed away. Seeking comfort, she invited him to stay over, knowing it wouldn’t be an issue given their usual flexibility with overnight guests. But that night, a confrontation erupted when both her boyfriend and Edith needed the bathroom simultaneously. The ensuing barrage of insults left the narrator rattled, leading to an astonishing decision: she resorted to using a storage tote to relieve herself. The desperate act illustrated just how strained the living situation had become.
But the absurdity didn’t stop there. The next morning, as she prepared to take a shower, it became evident that Edith had retaliated by removing all bathroom essentials. The toilet paper? Gone. The shower curtain? Vanished. Even the bath mat had disappeared, leaving the narrator in a ludicrous predicament. Suddenly, she found herself in a situation reminiscent of a medieval castle, with no access to basic amenities.
Determined to escape, she and her boyfriend devised a plan. Utilizing ropes, they lowered her belongings from the second-story balcony into a waiting truck, all while trying to minimize noise and avoid further conflict. It was a ridiculous scene but necessary, and by the time they finished, they were relieved to leave that chapter behind.
In the end, the narrator managed to escape a living nightmare with a makeshift pulley system, leaving behind the memories of an unbearable roommate whose rules had crossed the line from bizarre to controlling. After all, who knew that sharing a bathroom could turn into such a chaotic saga?
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