A post circulating on relationship forums in early 2026 described a disturbing scenario: a woman discovered that her girlfriend openly admired Aileen Wuornos, the Florida sex worker convicted of murdering seven men between 1989 and 1990, and insisted she “only cared about women who were hurt.” The girlfriend reportedly framed Wuornos as a feminist avenger rather than a convicted killer, dismissing male victims as unworthy of sympathy.
The post struck a nerve because it touched on something mental health professionals take seriously: when a romantic partner expresses admiration for a perpetrator of lethal violence and simultaneously narrows who “deserves” empathy, it can reflect patterns of thinking that show up in controlling and abusive relationships. That does not mean every true-crime fan is dangerous. But experts say the combination of glorifying a killer, sorting victims by gender, and dismissing a partner’s discomfort is worth examining closely.
True crime fandom vs. glorification: where the line falls
Roughly one in three American podcast listeners tunes into true crime content, according to industry data. Curiosity about criminal cases is common and, by itself, unremarkable. The trouble starts when curiosity tips into identification with the perpetrator.
After Netflix released Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story in 2022, families of Dahmer’s victims publicly condemned the series for re-traumatizing them. Rita Isbell, whose brother Errol Lindsey was killed by Dahmer, told Insider she felt “retraumatized” watching an actress recreate her victim-impact statement without her permission. Survivors on forums like r/ptsd have echoed that discomfort, describing how the cultural habit of treating killers like characters in a drama can feel like a second violation.
When someone moves past consuming true crime and begins praising a specific killer’s actions, particularly while dismissing certain victims, they are no longer engaging with content. They are endorsing a worldview. In a relationship, that endorsement matters.
What criminologists actually know about female serial killers
Aileen Wuornos is often cast as a woman who fought back against violent men, a narrative her own defense team encouraged during her trials. But criminologist Dr. Eric Hickey, author of Serial Murderers and Their Victims (now in its eighth edition and widely used in university criminology programs), has documented that female serial killers are far more varied in motive than pop culture suggests. Some kill for financial gain, some for control, and some out of psychopathy that mirrors their male counterparts.
A 2023 qualitative analysis published through Walden University’s dissertation archive examined masculine-coded traits in female serial killers, including dominance, aggression, and a drive for power. The study found that these offenders frequently targeted people they perceived as weak or dependent, complicating the “avenging angel” narrative. While a single dissertation is not definitive, its findings align with broader criminological literature: female serial killers are not feminist icons, and framing them that way erases the real people they harmed.
Romanticizing Wuornos or similar figures in a relationship context is not edgy commentary. It is a selective rewriting of history that prioritizes ideology over the lives of actual victims.
Love bombing, control, and what admiration for violence can signal
Admiring a killer does not make someone a killer. But clinicians who work with abusive relationship dynamics say it can be one data point in a larger pattern worth watching.
Dr. Dale Archer, a psychiatrist who has written extensively on personality disorders, describes love bombing as a manipulation tactic in which one partner floods the other with intense affection and commitment early on, creating a sense of dependency. Once the target is emotionally invested, the love bomber may withdraw warmth, introduce criticism, or escalate control. The pattern relies on the target’s reluctance to leave after such an intense emotional investment.
When love bombing coexists with other warning signs, such as a partner who glorifies predatory violence, expresses contempt for certain categories of people, or reacts with hostility when challenged, the combination can indicate what psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula calls a “cluster of red flags” rather than a single quirk. Durvasula, whose work on narcissistic abuse has reached millions through her YouTube channel, stresses that no single behavior is diagnostic, but patterns of entitlement, lack of empathy, and admiration for dominance deserve serious attention.
The girlfriend in the original post reportedly combined killer admiration with a rigid stance on who qualifies as a victim. That pairing, glorifying power over others while restricting empathy to a chosen group, is worth flagging, not because it predicts violence with certainty, but because it reveals how someone thinks about human worth.
How serial killer culture warps our sense of who matters
The girlfriend’s insistence that she “only cares about women who are hurt” reflects a broader cultural habit of ranking victims. Media coverage has long sorted victims by perceived worthiness. The intense public response to Gabby Petito’s 2021 disappearance, contrasted with the minimal coverage of hundreds of missing Indigenous women during the same period, prompted journalist Joy Reid and others to name the pattern as “Missing White Woman Syndrome” on national broadcasts.
True crime content can reinforce these hierarchies. When shows center charismatic killers and reduce victims to plot devices, audiences absorb the implicit message that some lives are more interesting, and therefore more valuable, than others. A 2023 analysis in the journal Deviant Behavior found that true crime consumers who identified strongly with perpetrators showed measurably lower empathy for victims compared to those who engaged with the same content from a victim-centered perspective.
In a relationship, a partner who has internalized that hierarchy and applies it selectively (“I only care when women are hurt”) is not just expressing a preference. They are telling you which people they consider fully human. That information is worth taking seriously.
Recognizing the warning signs and finding support
Friends and family who notice these patterns in someone’s relationship often feel unsure about how to respond. The instinct to dismiss a partner’s killer fixation as a “weird phase” or a dark sense of humor is understandable but can delay recognition of a genuinely unhealthy dynamic.
The nonprofit One Love Foundation, founded in memory of University of Virginia student Yeardley Love, who was killed by her ex-boyfriend in 2010, educates young people on the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviors. The foundation identifies 10 signs of an unhealthy relationship, including intensity, jealousy, isolation, and volatility. A partner who glorifies violence and polices which victims deserve compassion may check several of those boxes.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) offers confidential support for anyone in a relationship that feels unsafe, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. Advocates there are trained to help callers sort through confusing dynamics, including situations where the concerning behavior has not yet turned physical.
Solid Ground’s guide for bystanders encourages loved ones to name what they see without issuing ultimatums: describe the specific behavior that concerns you, express care without judgment, and offer concrete resources. The guide stresses that leaving an unhealthy relationship is a process, not a single decision, and that consistent, nonjudgmental support is the most effective thing an outsider can provide.
A partner’s admiration for a serial killer may never escalate beyond uncomfortable dinner conversation. But when it comes packaged with selective empathy, dismissiveness toward your concerns, and patterns of emotional control, it stops being a quirk and starts being a warning. The people and organizations listed above exist precisely for the moment when you are not sure whether what you are seeing is serious. Trust that uncertainty enough to reach out.
If you or someone you know is in an unsafe relationship:
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 | thehotline.org
- One Love Foundation: joinonelove.org
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
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