The first frame of the video from @omgitsheidiii is a close up of a woman with tears in her eyes and a hand over her mouth. The text over it reads, “a couple months ago, i went viral for discovering my ‘loud’ upstairs neighbor was a single 86 y/o woman with Parkinson’s.” The next card says, “the sounds i would get annoyed by were the sounds of [her] struggling to get around her apartment with her walker.” Then comes the turn: “and after discovering she was all alone in the world, i took her in as my new best friend.”
The caption is her explanation for posting it. “It’s moments like this that shine a light on why my path crossed with” her neighbor’s, it begins, and then: “she provides a peace & stability to me out here that i didn’t even know i needed.” It ends with a direct reply to the people who comment on how much she does for the older woman: “so as much as yall say i do for her… i hope u see how much she does for me.”
The 82 second video moves from the backstory to a bad night. Early on, it shows the creator hugging an older woman in a hallway, then carrying shopping bags and boxes through a doorway under the text “& while ppl are saying i changed her life…” The next card finishes the thought, “i think we both are bringing a whole new sense of joy to each other’s lives,” over shots of the creator holding a handheld vacuum and sitting on a carpeted floor beside a metal frame. Then it shifts to a different mood. “I was having a tough time the other night being stuck in my people pleaser ways,” the text says, over a pile of shipping boxes and mailers printed with hearts.
The next shot is a close up of an older woman’s hand holding the creator’s, with the text “watch how fast [my neighbor] snapped me out of it.” Then the creator is back on camera, rubbing her eye and crying. Text in yellow, a different color from her white captions, reads “You cannot be under pressure of other people…” The creator’s white text answers, “I just don’t understand people sometimes.” The yellow text continues, “Well, you g…” and then offers a way to say no: “Sorry. Ca[n’t]…” The creator’s white text says, “I dunno how to say ‘No.'” Yellow text follows with “If you c[an’t]…” and “just come up with an excuse!” The creator breaks into a smile under the text “*guilty giggles*.” The yellow text gives a sample excuse, “Like Samson, o[r]… anything!”, and the creator quotes it back in white: “Samson’s got the runs!” She laughs harder, the text reads “*uncontrollable laughter*,” and a last white caption on that scene says, “That’s a great excuse!”
The video ends on a black card that reads, “& to think that this friendship wouldn’t have started if i had chosen to judge [her] instead of help her…” A final card follows: “this is your reminder: it costs you nothing to lead with kindness.” The caption adds one more line about the night she describes: “in this moment, i needed a grandma, a mom.”
Public health agencies describe why steady contact with other people matters, especially for older adults. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says on its social connection page that older adults are more at risk for social isolation, and that isolation and loneliness can raise the risk of heart disease and stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, dementia and earlier death. The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social connection states that loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of premature death by 26 percent and 29 percent, respectively, and says the highest rates of social isolation are found among older adults.
The advisory also lists small actions anyone can take, among them “Make time to share a meal,” “Perform an act of service” and “Express yourself authentically.” Its letter adds that each person can start “now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and relationships.”
For a reader who lives near an older neighbor, the video points to a low pressure way to begin. Start by reconsidering the noise: the creator says the sounds that annoyed her were a neighbor struggling to get around with a walker. Offer one specific, small act and keep showing up. And let the exchange run both ways, as her caption does when it says the friendship gives her “peace & stability.” Her closing card puts the whole approach in one line: “it costs you nothing to lead with kindness.”
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