Student Says Ten Years Of Shared Dorm Rooms Left Her Hiding In Toilet Stalls For Privacy And Waiting For People To Leave Before Getting Water

It’s a common refrain among students: “I just want my own space.” But for one Reddit user, nearly a decade of shared living spaces has turned that wish into something bordering on desperation. After almost ten years of navigating the challenges of dorm life, the user, known only as “vlkalev,” finds herself pushed to her limits, hiding in toilet stalls and waiting for the coast to clear before she can even get a glass of water. This isn’t just frustration; it’s a cry for help.

The story begins back in high school, where she spent four long years in a cramped dormitory. Three beds for three girls, two chairs for a table, and a shared bathroom situation that resembled a scene from a chaotic reality show. With two showers meant for 30+ students and a kitchen that was more of an afterthought than a culinary haven, vlkalev quickly learned how to navigate this crowded maze. Mornings were a nightmare; toothbrush in hand, she’d brush her teeth in her room—an act of quiet rebellion against the morning rush of students vying for their turn in the shower. The only moment of peace she could find was in the bathroom stall, where she would sometimes sit for hours, savoring the solitude that was otherwise elusive.

After high school, vlkalev enjoyed a brief reprieve with a year of living alone—a taste of freedom that only intensified her longing for personal space. However, as she transitioned into university life, she was thrust back into the dormitory grind, this time sharing a slightly larger space with just one other person. While it was an upgrade, the realities of shared living remained. With only one other roommate, the dynamics were different but still challenging. The two of them were both busy studying, and while her roommate was mostly chill, vlkalev felt an ever-watchful gaze upon her. Constantly aware of her roommate’s presence, she found it difficult to immerse herself in her work or enjoy her downtime without the nagging sensation that she was being observed.

The shared bathrooms in her university dorm provided a smidge more breathing room with five showers for 20 students, but there was still chaos. The loosening of rules in the university setting led to late-night door slams and loud music echoing through the halls, all of which contributed to an ever-growing anxiety. vlkalev’s patience wore thin as she found herself increasingly frustrated about the seemingly trivial disturbances. The sound of squeaky doors and the incessant chatter of fellow students became triggers for her irritation, leading to moments where she’d raise her voice in anger—a sharp contrast to the more serene, controlled environment she had experienced during her brief stint of living alone.

Her mental state began to suffer. The cumulative effect of living in shared spaces left vlkalev feeling perpetually on edge. Sounds that would have once blended into the background now throbbed like an incessant drum, leaving her unable to fully relax. She grew weary of the antics around her: the guy who yelled at his video games, the messy kitchen that made cooking a chore rather than a treat. Even the arrangement of her living room, with her bed placed in such a way that her roommate could see her computer screen, added to her anxiety. The room had become a panopticon of sorts—an environment in which she felt she could never truly escape into her own world.

In her moments of solitude, like when her roommate would go home for the weekend, vlkalev seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Those precious hours became her sanctuary, a stark reminder of how much she had come to crave her own space. But the reprieve was short-lived, and soon enough, she’d be back to navigating the intricate social dance that came with living in close quarters. It wasn’t just physical space she longed for; it was the mental clarity that came with being alone.

As she vented her frustrations on Reddit, vlkalev sought reassurance that she wasn’t alone in her experiences. She needed to know that her struggles were valid, especially since those around her did not understand the gravity of her situation. While living with others may foster a sense of community for many, for her, it had amplified her social avoidance, making her more anxious and frustrated than ever before.

In the end, it’s a story that many can relate to: the struggle of finding personal space in a world that seems to thrive on closeness. For vlkalev, ten years of shared living has morphed into a battle for her own peace of mind, with only a bathroom stall as her refuge from the chaos.