When Christian came back from the restroom, his date’s food, purse and jacket were gone. What was left at the table, he says, was his own plate, two empty wine glasses and a cloth napkin with a message written on it in Sharpie: she had gone to a bar to watch the game.
He tells the whole story in an eight minute video filmed in his parked car, posted to his account @christiancooks99 under the on screen headline “i went on a first date / WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.” Everything below is his account of the night; the woman is never named, and he calls her “lady” throughout.
The setup sounded promising. He says they matched on Hinge, bantered for the rest of the night and moved to texting, where she answered within “five, maybe 10 minutes at most” and was “really enjoyable to talk to.” He planned dinner for 6:30 at a restaurant five minutes from his apartment, confirmed that morning and texted at 5:30 that he could not wait to see her. Her reply, he says, was that she was getting ready.
He arrived right at 6:30, checked in with the host and texted that he was inside. No answer. He sent another at 6:45, another at 6:55 and another at 7:10. “Is that a little overkill? Yeah, looking back on it, it was,” he admits. With nothing but a water in front of him, he decided he was being blown off, drove home and settled in to watch the Kansas City and Indianapolis game.
At 8 p.m., he says, she texted that she was sorry, that it took her “a little longer than usual to get ready,” and that she had just arrived. He decided to go back anyway. When he said he would be there in 10 minutes, she replied that if he was not there by 8:30 she was leaving. He assumed it was sarcasm.
He pulled up at about 8:15. According to Christian, the first thing she said after introducing herself was “you’re late. It’s not nice to keep a lady waiting.” About 10 minutes in, over two glasses of cabernet, he pointed out that the date had been set for 6:30. He says she answered that she had told him she would be late; he told her she had never replied after 5:30. When he said he valued communication but was happy to be there either way, her answer, by his account, was “that makes one of us.”
The conversation did not recover. He says he asked about her hobbies and what she liked to do for fun, and each answer turned into a “five minute monologue,” followed by a polite “so what about you?” The moment he started talking, he says, she picked up her phone and started texting. He was already planning to suggest getting the food to go.
Then the food runner arrived. Christian says she complimented the man’s gold rope bracelet. “I’m wearing the same exact bracelet,” he tells viewers. “They were identical.” She had not complimented his once. She then complimented the runner’s hair, saying it looked “so nice and silky” and that she wanted to run her hands through it. “That was my final straw,” he says.
He told her he was going to wash his hands before eating. He says he spent about five minutes in the restroom working up the courage to tell her he did not want to see her again. When he came back, she was gone, along with her food. The napkin note, he says, named a bar he describes as 40 minutes away. She had not texted.
The last indignity came with the check. He says he had to call the waiter over and ask for a box and the bill; the waiter, he says, “very clearly saw what happened,” and she had not paid for her meal. His summary: she arrived over an hour late, “ordered food, took it to go, and left while I was in the bathroom.” He ends by asking what is wrong with her, and then turns it on himself, asking what is wrong with him for even going.
What to Do When a Date Goes This Way
Christian’s night had several points where it could have ended sooner and cheaper. If you are planning a first date of your own, his story suggests a few practical rules.
Set a no show cutoff before you leave the house. He waited 40 minutes and sent four texts before going home. Decide in advance how long you will wait, send one message at the start time and one at your cutoff, then leave without a debate.
Treat a deadline as a deadline. When she texted that she would leave if he was not there by 8:30, he assumed it was a joke. Two and a half hours of silence followed by an ultimatum is information. It is fine to say “let’s try another night” instead of getting dressed again.
Pick a spot where an early exit is easy. His restaurant was five minutes from home, which made going back tempting. It also made leaving easy. If the conversation is one sided and the phone comes out, you can ask for the check and call it, as he was planning to.
Order separately or settle up early. Ask for separate checks when you order, or ask the server at the start to split the bill. Christian found out at the end that her meal was on his tab.
Say it at the table, not in the restroom. He spent five minutes rehearsing a goodbye and came back to an empty chair. A simple “I don’t think this is a match, let’s get the check” said in person saves the time and puts the bill on the table while both people are still there.
More from Cultivated Comfort
- Woman Says Her First Date Told Her He Would Not Have a 36 Year Old in the Front Seat of His Ferrari, So She Got Up and Left Before Taking a Sip of the Wine He Pushed Her to Order
- Woman Says a Dating App Match Planned Their Second Date Before the First, Ghosted Her, Then Liked Her Again Months Later and Told Her She Looked Better in Photos
- Man Still Has the Fourth Grade Card Where His Only Girlfriend Confessed a Crush, and After More Than Ten Years of Silence She Messaged His Private Account to Ask Him to Dinner
