Nine in ten daters say they’re still looking for marriage or a long-term partner, according to Coffee Meets Bagel’s new Dating Realness Report, which surveyed more than a thousand U.S. daters in partnership with YouGov. Specifically, 92% said they want marriage or a long-term relationship, with 61% actively looking for someone to marry and another 31% seeking a committed long-term partner. That number runs directly against the prevailing narrative about modern dating — the idea that swipe culture has trained an entire generation out of wanting commitment at all. The data says the opposite: most people using dating apps right now are doing it because they want exactly the thing dating apps are supposedly killing.
What the Dating Realness Report Found
Beyond the marriage number, Coffee Meets Bagel found that 88% of respondents value simply being in a relationship, and 99% called emotional connection a must-have or good-to-have quality in a partner — essentially universal. Physical attraction, shared values, and shared interests each landed at 97%. “In a fast-evolving dating landscape where many apps chase the next shiny feature and encourage endless swiping, we’re focused on tools that help daters date with purpose,” said Quincy Yang, CEO of Coffee Meets Bagel’s U.S. and Canada operations, in the company’s own release of the findings.
Why the “Dating Is Dead” Narrative Persists Anyway
Part of the disconnect comes down to what gets attention versus what’s actually common. Burnout, ghosting, and bad-date stories dominate conversation about dating apps because they’re specific, dramatic, and easy to relate to in a single scroll. A dater quietly hoping to meet someone to build a life with doesn’t generate the same kind of story. The result is a public perception shaped almost entirely by the loudest, most frustrated voices, even though Coffee Meets Bagel’s survey suggests those voices represent a small, vocal minority rather than the norm.
What This Means for How People Actually Date
The report also found daters open to AI assistance in the process itself, not as a replacement for human connection but as a filter to spend less time on matches that clearly aren’t aligned on the basics. That fits with the broader pattern: people aren’t opting out of wanting commitment, they’re trying to get to it faster and with less wasted effort. The apps built around endless swiping are increasingly competing against apps and features built around the opposite premise — that most users would rather have fewer, more serious conversations.
The gap between how dating apps get talked about and what daters actually say they want turns out to be enormous, and Coffee Meets Bagel’s numbers suggest most people on these apps are there for exactly the reason dating apps originally promised.
