She stepped back from the register, fully expecting him to pay. He stepped back too, turned to her, and asked, “So how do you want to do this?” A doctor who posts as @_adoseofchi says she was so baffled by what came next that she barely processed it, and the woman behind the counter was just as confused as she was.
The story goes back to 2021. She had just finished her medical residency, moved to Texas, and decided to try the dating apps. “Bad idea,” she says. She matched with a man on Hinge, they chatted for a while, and he suggested meeting up. He was thoughtful enough to pick a spot near her home so she would not have to drive far, a restaurant called Thirsty Lion. She had never been, but from what she could see online, it looked like a nice, sit-down, bar-and-restaurant kind of place.
On the day of the date, the plan changed. He suggested Rosa’s Cafe instead, followed by Dave and Buster’s. Not knowing what Rosa’s was, she went along with it.
The Restaurant Had a Drive-Thru
When she pulled into the parking lot, she noticed a drive-thru window. Inside, she found a counter-service Tex-Mex spot where you order at the register and pick your food up on a tray. She compares it to a Mexican version of McDonald’s. She is quick to say she is not above eating there, but it was a long way from what she had pictured for a first date.
At the register, the cashier was more comfortable in Spanish, and since the creator speaks enough Spanish to get by, she placed both orders. Her date studied the menu, told her what he wanted, and she relayed it, then ordered her own meal.
Then came the pause. She stepped back. He stepped back. And he asked how she wanted to handle it. When she asked what he meant, he spelled it out: did she want to pay for this, or for Dave and Buster’s, or how did she want to split it?
“I must have looked like a deer in headlights,” she says. The cashier looked back and forth between the two of them, just as puzzled. Finally, hungry and not interested in a standoff, the creator said she would just pay for the meal.
When she stepped back up, the cashier asked her in Spanish if she was the one paying. She said yes, and the cashier started laughing. The creator could not help laughing too. Her date asked what was so funny. The cashier said, “Oh, nothing,” which only made the creator laugh harder, because by then she was half convinced the whole thing had to be a joke.
@_adoseofchi
And Then There Was the Tray
When their number was called, her date stood up. She assumed he was going to grab the tray. Instead, he grabbed his silverware. She carried the tray herself.
Her caption suggests the experience did not scare her off apps for good. “I would like to say that was the last time I would ever go on a date from Hinge,” she writes. “But that would be a lie.”
Who Pays on a First Date Now
For anyone who dated in an earlier era, this story may sound unthinkable. The old rule was simple: whoever asks, pays, and on most first dates that meant the man. Today, expectations vary a lot more, and that is exactly why moments like this one can turn so awkward.
Plenty of couples are happy to split the bill or take turns. The trouble is not splitting. It is surprise. Asking at the register, with the cashier waiting and the food already ordered, puts the other person on the spot. A few habits help avoid that.
Settle it in advance. A simple text like “My treat tonight” or “Want to go Dutch?” clears things up before anyone arrives.
If you do the inviting, plan to cover it. Many people still see this as basic courtesy, especially on a first meeting.
If plans change, say why. Switching from a sit-down restaurant to a quick-service spot is not a problem in itself. Explaining the change keeps the other person from feeling misled.
Offer, then accept graciously. If you expect to be treated, it is still kind to reach for your wallet. If your offer is accepted, pay without making it a scene.
Small courtesies count. Carrying the tray, holding a door, or asking what the other person would like to do next costs nothing and says a lot.
If you are the one caught off guard, you have options. You can pay for your own meal and let the rest of the evening go, as the creator did. You can say, kindly but plainly, “I assumed you were treating since you invited me, but I am happy to cover my half.” Or, if the moment tells you everything you need to know, you can skip the second stop. Dave and Buster’s will still be there another day, with better company.
And a few safety basics, whether you are 25 or 65: meet somewhere public, drive yourself, let a friend know where you will be, and keep a little cash and a charged phone so you are never dependent on your date to get home.
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